A Coffee and Some Musings Friday
I’m sitting here, it’s almost 7 o’clock in the A of the M as I finally being to type, and I don’t know what to write. There are a few things jotted down in a notebook, but nothing seems to want to build into a full-fledged post. Plus, my coffee is getting cold. Not a good thing.
I read this last night, and it jumped out at me enough that I made note of it:
“Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty.” - Matthew 23:11-12 (MSG)
I’m 42 years old, inching closer every day to 43, and there are days where I still wonder what “simply being myself” means: What does it look like? How does it feel? How does it dance or fall off my tongue? How does it play out in the day-to-day?
Oh, gadzooks – I’m not having a midlife crisis, am I? Urgh.
No, wait … I’m just being me, I suppose. Ask Jeff, who often gets to hear such questions when he’s about ready to drift off to sleep (or is in the middle of a book) and I’m tired, which usually translates to my being harder than necessary on myself.
A fresh cup of coffee wouldn’t hurt, either.
The word “be” is used (according to a handy Google search and Merriam-Webster) to indicate the identity/describe the qualities/indicate the condition of a person or thing.
It’s also a word I find myself wrestling with off-and-on within the way it often pops up in the biblical narrative: Be still and know God; be strong and courageous; be blessed. It’s a word that sometimes impossibly meshes together action and stillness, forward momentum and sitting still all into one.
Then there’s society and the culture around us, with its cries to be more, be successful, be All the Things!
And somehow, when the two try to speak, the one that speaks of an impossible waiting-while-moving catches my soul, steadying it while propelling me forward.
God delights in certain (seeming) dichotomies. Or so it seems But He doesn’t do so in a mean way. Rather, it’s in the sense that in the tension between the two, I learn to let Him bring the balance I can’t find on my own.
We’ve all felt that at one time or another, no? Like we have no value. No real use. Like we’re merely taking up space, void of any good qualities. We certainly deserve the contempt we layer upon ourselves.
Yet there are so many things that, largely, simply “be” that I place value on. Things that don’t need my stamp of approval or whatever to exist, to have come to, well, be. Things like sunny skies … Singing birds … A snuggly cat … Tree branches swaying in the wind.
God values these things. He made them after all. So why do I (too often) think I’m of little value in comparison?
Somehow, this threads in with learning to “be”. Maybe with how I do (and don’t) let God have the first, the central point in this life and all it encompasses.
Hey – there’s that whole “balance” thing popping up again!
Well it seems there are a few things to mull over this Friday. (I will definitely need a fresh cup of coffee.)
I hope it’s a happy Friday, everyone.