Maybe it’s the settling in of actual spring weather, or the changes I see happening in the lives of people around me, or the feeling of something being just out of reach like a carrot on a string for a hungry mule, but the short of it is this: I’m feeling stuck. It’s like life is progressing all around me, but I’m trapped on a treadmill of my own design with the scenery scrolling by like something on an old film set.
So I’m trying to sit with it, to settle down for a spell in this ‘dip’. My usual choices of a.) numb myself to any/all discomfort by finding various ways to ignore it, and/or b.) engage in all kinds of activity in a bid to make some sort of progress haven’t worked before. And a weariness settles down on my shoulders when I think of picking up either option again.
And, so, again, I’m trying to sit. To wait. To listen for God’s still, small voice in whatever way He’ll choose to speak to help me see the right step forward, up and off this dead-end road.
It’s hard, though, this sitting and waiting. I want to throw Bible verses and inspirational quotes and action plans at it like a Hollywood ninja and see change, change, change. But real, lasting growth doesn’t happen that way, does it? At least not as often as I would like it.
So … so I’ll sit, and listen, and find the better way forward rather than get swept up in the go-go-go of life. Somehow, I know for this time, at least, it’s the wiser choice.