I wonder, sometimes, about how much to share about me on here. I don’t want to be narcissistic, nor do I want to hold so much back I’m not showing the real me, either. It’s not that I don’t appreciate those who want to focus on and present the positive. It’s understandable not wanting to have every (or any) dip or struggle in your life put out for public consumption. It doesn’t sit well, however, for me to do that. I suspect it stems from having spent too much time already moulding myself to fit in with those around me.
Again, there is a balance to be had here, I know.
It’s easy to dismiss those we don’t agree with, isn’t it? (I speak from a well-practiced experience, if you are wondering.) We can do it outright with our words, more subtly with our tone, with our silence. It’s harder to listen, to try to get to the truth of a story, of a person’s experience.
But I think the hard work is worth it. I know how it is appreciated when others do so with me. I want to get better at returning the kindness.
Merriam-Webster has the kind of definition for ‘hodgepodge’ that makes me think of a teacher I once heard about – he was so smart, he couldn’t explain physics to his high school students in a way in which they could actually understand it.
Here’s the definition in question:
Hodgepodge: a heterogeneous mixture: jumble.
Even the definition of ‘heterogeneous’ follows a somewhat similar vein:
Heterogeneous: consisting of dissimilar or diverse ingredients or constituents.
Well, okay then, Smarty McSmartypants dictionary writers …
Jeff and I were doing dishes a short while ago, talking about a Christian writer I knew about who had recently died. I was noticing on the social media threads, those who tended not to agree with this person while they were alive would say things along the lines of, “Now they will have the answers and clarity they did not have in life about Christianity and their faith.” It carried an undertone of the still-alive speakers not being in a similar boat – lacking clarity and the correct answers.
The irony is we all lack clarity, we all carry around things we’re certain are fact but which may actually not be. As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NKJ):
“For now we see in a mirror, dimly …”
In other words, not a one of us is getting this faith, this following of Jesus 100% spot-on. We’re all stumbling around a bit (or a lot). Rather than nitpicking at each other, muddled as we all can be, I’m trying to get better at loving God and loving people. To accept the help to do that where I need it, to offer it to others in kind where I can as well.
That’s it. Sometimes it’s hard to “wrap up” a story when it’s in the midst of being lived out. So I shall awkwardly leave you here. ;-)
Thanks for reading, for travelling alongside.