mid-ish year wonderings
Like a shadow in the periphery I can never quite track, I wrestle to do away with the false image of God as an impossible to please taskmaster ever at the ready to punish those who miss the mark, mess it up. People like us all, really. I couldn’t tell you for sure where that particular seed was first planted, but it was amply watered by insecurities, fears, and doubts.
Yet … yet when I pause, I’ll see the light of His goodness, His mercy, His grace in places like:
a well-timed song on Spotify to lift spirit and soul.
an unplanned discovery in a bookstore.
visits with long-held friends, especially after a time of connecting less.
a sermon about sons who left, sons who stayed in a sense, and both being called properly home by their father.
I’m reminded to hope again, to pick up a few things tucked away, to consider where a ‘no’ is needed in order to make space for a ‘yes’ (even if, or maybe especially when, it’s not mapped out beyond the next step). I’m learning to tend to those better plantings, to help those roots go deep. And to remember it’s not all on me to do it, either. For God is faithful, is true.
Time to hope on. :)