It would be great, I think, to be more snip-snappier than I currently am about making decisions, particularly decisions about what I’d like to do, be it evening plans what movie to watch on Netflix, or potential future career plans. As it is, I’ll try to garner what other people want or prefer and go along with that. Or I’ll be overwhelmed with options and/or the possibility of making wrong choice, and then do nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. And then find myself wondering how another year is zipping right along and I am basically the same, only with more gray hairs and a stronger eyeglass prescription.
So I’m trying to stop, to breathe, to settle simply on the next right thing. I want to do the work of being present in, well, the present, to lay out this heart’s hopes and dreams, fears and regrets before God – the One who formed and best knows me. But yet, I hesitate. I procrastinate. I clutch onto all I can, worried I’ll be faced with a stranger should I give up my identifiers, my labels. Yet the Bible speaks of dying daily, of taking up our cross, and following Jesus … of losing our selves in order to truly find ourselves.
What an upside-down way of looking at things, hey? So against our basic inclinations. It makes me think of how The Message Bible puts the part of the Lord’s Prayer typically rendered as ‘lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil’ as ‘keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.’ There are days when I do need saving from myself.
How about you? Are there ways in which you can relate to this, or do you have things all sorted out? Feel free to share here, or via social media. It is a treat to hear from you!