Of Reboots & Connections (Or Something)
I find myself still in a little jumble of conundrums. Or so they seem to be – conundrums, that is (for things are certainly a jumble). Maybe ‘quandary’ would be the better choice, for I am finding myself in ‘a practical dilemma’ when it comes to trying to decide what to do in a couple of areas, with a handful of things. It’s all a bit of a bother, really, and rather than try to plow through it, I’m trying instead to look and listen and put me aside for a little while at least.
Jeff’s playing his guitar downstairs as I write, and various electric melodies and effects mingle with the bubbling of the fish tank in the living room and birdsong outside. It’s a nice soundtrack to ponder to (and to sneak a quick read of a quick story … or two).
It used to be – not always, but often enough – June was an anxious month for me. Halfway through the year by its end, half as much time left. So much not done, so much to do. It’s not quite so much that this year. Maybe I’ve done more, maybe I’m learning to better have goals, yes, but still take each day as it comes rather than worry about the ones ahead and regretting much from the ones past. Maybe it’s this cold I’m getting over. But this mellowed feeling is … good.
Ze Book had been set to the side for a little while. Not forgotten. Just not at the forefront. I need to pick it up again, a bit more gingerly, I think, than before. In the meantime, I have been working on finishing a story started quite some time ago – a fan fiction story I’m not ashamed to say – and a fun story. It has been good to remember how to have fun with a story. Ze Book needs a bit of fun, some care. It needs work and a framework and a plan.
And therein lies part of the jumble, the quandary – how to unsnarl a story to see if there’s actually something there, not just a knotted-up collection of bits and pieces that cannot form anything cohesive. But are there enough pieces to start making something, to add not-yet found pieces onto it to make, well, a story? Do I have the time to take from other things to learn from other to (hopefully) sort it all out? And then get to work?
Time. There always seems to be a need for more, no? Or perhaps it’s learning to better use what we’ve been given, moment by moment.