Pushing Past Resistance
Asking God to do a serious cleaning out of one’s heart is a scary thing to do. A lot of junk is going to come to the surface.
It’s not going to be fun to face it, to deal with it. Because while it’s nice to think God will remove it with a snap of His fingers (and not that He can’t, because He’s God), it’s often not how it happens. At least that has been my experience. Maybe the problem is with me – I want to hold on tightly to all the wrong things, so it hurts as thorny weeds and brambly roots slip through my tightly clenched hands. Or maybe it’s the fact change is hard for people. It’s new, it’s scary, and we like the familiar and the comfortable (or at least I do). Maybe it’s a combination of the two.
Either which way, here I am, with a seemingly insurmountable wall of idleness before me. I look at my Finish Year list, comparing it to what I have actually accomplished to date, and I’m discouraged. And my gut reaction when I look at seemingly impossibly big things is to sit and do nothing because there’s no way I can get it all done, or turn my attention to something completely different because maybe I’m simply on the wrong path. And I have gone with that gut reaction often.
Yet God isn’t asking me to do all the big stuff by myself. Nor is He asking me to become a brand-new person overnight. I think about David killing a giant with a stone and a slingshot, of Gideon defeating an army with a comparatively small group of men, of Noah building an ark when the land had yet to see a raindrop (never mind a flood). These men did not accomplish what they did solely on their own, or become giant killers, army defeaters, and boat builders in a blink of an eye. They trusted God to see them through the big stuff. And they were faithful in all the behind the scenes stuff that preceded their big debuts, as it were:
- David faithfully tended his father’s sheep.
- Gideon threshed grain in secret in a wine press.
- Noah proved himself a faithful and loyal man for 500 years before he is singled out as such in Genesis, and was 600 years old when he boarded the ark.
So rather than give up and take the easy (and boring, really) way out, I’m going to hunker down, dig a little deeper, and keep pressing forward. I won’t define or limit myself by my mistakes past and present (or future). I will trust God to do His part as He (because He’s awesome) helps me to do mine.