Sometimes I'm Invisible
Honestly, there are times when I don’t mind. I don’t need to be “seen” or acknowledged or the like every second of every day. It’s good to be able to quietly and unobtrusively go about my business. Besides which, aren’t I supposed to be showing people Jesus, Christ in me, and not, well, me? (Because honestly, what am I going to be able to do for your soul in terms of eternity besides point you to Jesus? Throw Doctor Who factoids at you? While entertaining for fellow fans now, it doesn’t add up to much otherwise.)
But there are other times when I really do want to be seen, to be heard, and instead I’m unnoticed or unacknowledged. I’m not even a blip on the radar (so it seems).
It’s disconcerting. And I know I’m not blameless when it comes not noticing others.
I get that everyone’s busy, too. And oftentimes what I perceive as a slight is anything but that.
But the downside of often being a wallflower is you blend into the background. And when the time comes when you want to be seen, no one does, so well matched is your camouflage. And you’re not quite sure how to engage others, so you make a few pips and squeaks before retreating once again to your corner.
Not that the above is always the case. But some days it seems to be, and all I want to do is burrow down in the corner of the couch with a warm blanket, a snuggly cat (when he’s so inclined), and a good story of some sort whether it’s on the page or on a screen.
It’s odd, that – wanting to hide when feeling invisible. Though for me, it’s more a way to remind myself to stop the intense naval-gazing such feelings can bring about.
I suppose I haven’t really said too much with any sort of weight or import today. Sometimes, I just need to ramble. To show I’m here (to not be invisible).