I’m both marginally flummoxed and largely grateful to have the month of May behind me. Not that I dread the month of May. It is a good month overall. But this May was filled with surgery for my husband and the tension of waiting for the both of us. As such, it was nice to flip to new calendar pages knowing the majority of that tension is now behind us.
All the same, I am having to fight the other tensions that want to latch on – things like getting our yard into shape, making further headway in de-cluttering our home, getting Jeff a proper office/art space, writing more, re-establishing a regular exercise routine, watching Chuck and knocking down the To Read pile. (And that brief list doesn’t even cover everything.) I feel as though I’m not busy enough, even as I still work largely full time hours and do the myriad of things many of us do on a daily basis. Things like cook and clean, nurture relationships and health, and trying to unwind on a regular basis.
All the while, the seconds tick away, the sun rises and sets, and this panic – fear, really – that I am wasting too much time bubbles beneath the surface. It’s leaving me a bit nauseous. (Or maybe the nausea is due to the rapidly disappearing chocolate mint Girl Guide cookies in the pantry …)
Either way, I don’t want to be ruled by clocks or fear or busyness. I want to be productive, to be wise in how I use the time I have. So I’m glad to have been reminded of the following Bible passage recently:
He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God? -Micah 6:8 (NKJ)
Three things. (1 … 2 … 3.) Inhale. (Do justly.) Hold. (Love mercy.) Exhale. (Walk humbly.) My mind settles. (My heart slows.) The ominous countdown recedes. (The clock ticks out hope.)