It seems if there is a way to not accomplish a goal, to move closer to making a dream a reality, I run with it.
And then I end up mad, frustrated, with the bitter tang of disappointment lingering in the air around me.
How long before I get in? Before it starts, before I begin? -“Speed of Sound”, Coldplay
Sometimes it’s two steps forward, four steps back. I want to succeed, to change where necessary. Yet on another level, I want to stay in the familiar, the known, even as I long for something … else.
It’s easy to find something else to do. To orchestrate things so I run out of time, so it’s necessary in its own way to keep plodding along worn, dusty paths. Then again … that frustration flashes in the sky once again, illuminating a horizon with something that, yes, could be harder, have costs while being richer.
Somehow, that spurs onward – hopefully upward – for further, for longer. (Maybe even to two steps back, eight steps forward until suddenly a new horizon is seen.)
I’ll start before I can stop, before I see things the right way up. -“Speed of Sound”, Coldplay
It’s time to quit trying to fix this all by myself because (to the surprise of none) I cannot.
There’s a Redemption Story waiting in the wings. I need to let it take center stage.
Time will tell if (when) I do.