A Coffee and Some Fitting In Friday
I find myself learning (slowly) to pray (and mean it), “God, help me to be the me You designed me to be.” Because it can be hard not only in terms of cultural pressures to see and be and do things a certain way, but also in terms of a personal desire to be liked and loved by all in all that one does.
The latter is not as strong or consistent for me as it once was, but it still tries to make itself known and be attended to every so often. I’m much better at tuning it out. Which is a good thing because it’s an exhausting way to live – it makes it hard to enjoy present good and lovely moments for you’re always on the lookout for signs of disapproval so you can tweak whatever needs tweaking in order to “fit in”. For guess what? There is always going to be something someone else determines to be a bit more good, a shade more lovelier than what you are currently doing/experiencing.
But to live, to really live, in a way that freely receives and freely pours back out grace and love and All the Good things, I (and you) cannot always be trying to stuff myself into the niche of another. When I do that, I can end up sanding away the ridges, knots, and grooves that actually enable me to fit together with others to build something beautiful and strong.
I don’t know – the last bit is still taking shape. But I do know I, on my own, cannot be all and do all. I need the unique combinations of skills and likes and interests and quirks of others to fill in where I lack or fall short. So why do I think others don’t need the same from me?
Have a happy Friday, everyone.