A Coffee and Some Trust Issues Friday
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”-Ernest Hemingway
I was feeling overwhelmed by life in general on Wednesday morning. Not exactly a good frame of mind to get any sort of writing done – I didn’t even get much down in my journal other than a bit of a startled notation about (on that day at least) having some serious trust issues with God and with folks in general.
It can be hard to be vulnerable, even with God who sees and knows everything about me anyway. I don’t know why I’m still reticent to give Him an all-access pass, as it were, to this heart. Then the thought comes to me I’m sure He’ll ask me to do something super-hard or that I’ll really hate. Like being a full-time public speaker or to have some sort of job that involves talking to people on the phone 99% of the time. (Jon Acuff put it well when he talked about his fear of God making him a mathlete.)
There’s also the strong desire (on my part) to not be hurt, to not look silly or foolish … to not make mistakes and be wrong. I think if I keep my cards, as it were, close to my chest, that I will be safe. Protected. No one will be able to make fun of me, tell me my dreams are silly or pointless or in some way without merit. I won’t get hurt. I won’t hurt others.
And yet keeping “me” tucked away, by not letting God get in to do His work, I am being hurt. I am hurting others. Because who likes to be constantly held at a distance?
I was looking at a coupe of verses in the Bible about trust yesterday, namely:
- Psalm 37:3 (NLT): Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
- Proverbs 3: 5-6 (NKJ): Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
And I learned something about the use of the word trust in both those verses. Not only does it carry with it boldness, security, and safety, it also is used in such a way that it conveys the carrying out of a simple or casual action – something that is second nature on the part of the doer. He sat, he ate, he went … he trusted.
I want trusting God to be second nature to me – something that carries with it a sense of peace, of safety even in the face of uncertain circumstances, unknown futures, mistakes, and failures. And the best way to get there is to, well, trust Him.
This is definitely something to hold close, to take good, solid root in this heart and life.
Have a happy Friday, all. Thanks for reading!