It’s interesting how one can decide to do something and then find all kinds of opposition coming against them. Take my decision to tackle NaNoWriMo again this year. Not only had I decided to take on the challenge of writing 50,000 words in 30 days, I was also going to do so happily. And no, I’m not typically the tortured writer type. No deep, dark issues to deal with in such matters, me.
But in November I’m not always the most pleasant, up-beat person to be around – particularly after a writing session. My inner editor, not pleased at being muffled, manages to make a lot more noise. Doubts about skills and talents and the ‘whys’ of why I write bubble up faster than I can pop them. And Jeff gets to hear a lot of my frustrations and doubts.
Last Thursday in particular, it was starting to look like, despite my best intentions, that this November would be no different. Any minute I was going to hear my husband ask why I did this because I sure didn’t seem to enjoy it. I almost, seriously, threw in the towel a few times between Thursday and Saturday. But then I would wake up or be driving somewhere and have fresh ideas floating around and I would think ‘Maybe, maybe this time it’ll be the one I can run with . . .’
And so I sit once more, praying I’ll keep a good attitude and remember to have fun and not take all of this so seriously that I can’t keep going and simply write.
Here’s to persevering for another day and to getting a new wineskin ready for some new wine.