I didn’t know what to write for today’s post. I spent the better part of an hour last night flipping through photos on Facebook, wondering where the years are going and how are we already almost halfway through January and if I will be able to get XYZ done at work tomorrow (pleaseohplease)? (Sometimes I call this “research” or “brainstorming blog post ideas” when usually it’s “procrastination”.) It’s a rhythm I didn’t think my life would have at this point, this get up and tick the boxes and try not to straight-through repeat each week with the only variations being age and wardrobe. Where I worry about aging parents and our own childlessness and what that means for our later years. Where I wonder why I stubbornly hold onto some things while being amazed at the things that have been gone through and let go of and built upon.
Because I’m learning to savor more moments when I’m in them. I find myself marveling at the life I have by circumstance of where and when I was born. It had nothing to do with me, with my hard work, many of the things I have in this life that is. I hope I use well – and use up – all I have been given. I want to keep learning to let go of the past and not worry about unforeseen futures, particularly on days like yesterday where all goes according to the opposite of planned.
Funny the reflective mood one can veer off into when a weekend dusting of the living room turns into a slight redecorating of the living room. Of how it becomes a mini road trip down memory lane as one looks through old pictures and old books and old knickknacks. Of how one can be getting older chronologically but still feel as they’re only getting started in/getting a handle on this life. Funny how life can go according to the exact opposite of planned. Funny how it can all – still – work out in the end.
Funny (sometimes – oftentimes – if you look) this thing called life.