You Tell Me
I used to have this bad (dumb) thing that I did (it still crops up at times):I used to expect people to figure out what I wanted from them without me saying anything.
My husband should help with the housework because can’t he see it needs to be done? A coworker should help with a particular pile on my desk because can’t they see how busy I’ve been for the last few days? A family member should offer to meet me for coffee or some such thing because they know I’m dealing with XYZ right now, and can they not see I Need Some Attention?
But the husband never saw the dirty floors. And the coworker was similarly swamped. And the family member(s) had their own XYZs to deal with.
My attempts at passive-aggressive telepathy failed miserably. And they made many a moment miserable for those around me as well.
What has worked, however, is me communicating with other people. Asking for help, asking for some space, asking if there is another way something can be done.
I may fumble it the first go-round and need to clarify things. But man – opening my mouth and requesting help or assistance has certainly proven to be the better option.
I know it’s not exactly an earth-shattering discovery, but it’s one I’m glad I made before it became a harder habit to shake than what it was.